30 books for 30 years

Reflecting on the stories that made me.

Collage painstakingly made in Canva

This weekend I’ll be lucky enough to celebrate my 30th birthday in my favorite place with many of my favorite people. But despite preparing to enter a whole new decade, I realized Sunday evening that I haven’t done a lot of reflecting on how far I’ve gotten (it can be difficult to acknowledge your own wins sometimes) and where I wish to go next.

When I asked myself how I could go about such reflection, the first thing I thought of was taking a bookish trip down memory lane. When I was small, I was incredibly fortunate to have parents who read to me every single night, friends who enthusiastically read the little “books” I crafted out of printer paper and colored pencils at recess, and teachers who looked the other way when I’d read under my desk. Without this foundation, I don’t think I would have developed the lasting love for stories that I enjoyed throughout my teenage years (when I read a lot of Stephen King and corny romance novels), early 20s (99% feminist and antiracist literature), and now (literary fiction, cultural criticism, and soft sci-fi).

Care to indulge me as I reminisce? Maybe you’ll find a new favorite read. • ᴗ <

The following are listed in loose chronological order, not by age. If you buy any of the below via these links, I’ll earn a small commission at no extra cost to you, and you’ll support indie bookstores in the process! I also recommend searching the titles on Libby to see if your library offers the e-book version for free.

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1. The Little House series

These are the first books I can remember my parents reading to me at bedtime, though I’m sure plenty of picture books preceded them. I was enamored with Laura Ingalls Wilder’s life and often imagined bits of it as I went about my own, pouring pancake syrup into a Tupperware full of crushed ice in an effort to imitate her snowtop molasses candy (it didn’t work) and snuggling into a warm quilt during winter (which, in the Phoenix suburbs, certainly did not match Laura’s unheated log cabin experience). Looking back, I wonder if these books kickstarted my interest in mid- to late-1800s fiction and The Oregon Trail.

2. A Series of Unfortunate Events

I think every American kid (and beyond) read this series. The Boudelaire siblings’ bummer lives were just so comically fascinating, and I probably had a crush on Klaus, though it was Violet’s “tying her hair with a ribbon when she wanted to concentrate” quirk that I tried to recreate with ribbons I found around the house. (This, too, did not work. User error, I think.)

3. The Warriors series

My elementary school friends and I used to roleplay as Warriors cats at recess. Enough said.

4. Pet Sematary

Okay, so this is kind of a morbid transition from the last one, but this was the first Stephen King novel I read, and it triggered an obsession that lasted through middle school. I remember my grandma helping me find used copies at dusty bookstores in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and my mom being like, “Should she be reading those?”

5. Twilight

We’re not gonna talk about this one.

6. The Catcher in the Rye

This book is pretty controversial; I’ve even heard it said that it’s a red flag if this is someone’s favorite book, to which I say, ???. As a teen, I found Holden Caulfield’s melancholic, pessimistic, and selfish attitude kind of relatable. It’s important to see yourself reflected in a story, even if that version of you sorta sucks.

7. The Great Gatsby

Another controversial classic, though more because people disagree on how good it actually is. Personally, I don’t care much about that, because I had a blast reading this one in one of the best English classes I ever took and because it led to my friend group fashioning a Gatsby-themed pre-prom dinner/photoshoot in the park. There are just so many fun memories associated with this story.

8. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

No one I’ve mentioned this book to has known about it, so allow me to introduce you to Rose Edelstein, the young protagonist who discovers that she can sense the emotions tied into everyday objects, including her mother’s homemade lemon cake. This turns out to be a bit unfortunate as her family navigates tragedy and heartbreak, but the story itself is really beautiful, and it’s stuck with me for nearly two decades.

9. Fangirl

I’m definitely not a romance girlie these days, but I was in high school, probably because my boyfriend at the time totally sucked. Fangirl was just such an adorably wholesome story, and I think it taught me that your crush/partner should, y’know, be nice to you.

10. Gone Girl

Read at the beginning of college, Gillian Flynn’s most popular novel was the start of my interest in stories featuring female protagonists who have been pushed to a point of no return—and also my undying love affair with reading by the pool. Bonus: I saw the movie adaptation on my first-ever date with a girl, which is a cute memory.

11. Men Explain Things to Me

So begins my venture into feminist lit (and the writings of Rebecca Solnit, whose solemnly inspiring A Paradise Built in Hell I’d read years later). Sometimes, when you sense that something is wrong with the world, you turn to books to figure out why.

12. Asking for It: The Alarming Rise of Rape Culture & What We Can Do About It

(TW: Sexual harassment/trafficking) In the process of seeking out a part-time job during my freshman year in college, I came across a piece of evidence that resulted in the takedown of a sex trafficking ring just blocks away from campus. Though I wasn’t harmed, it was through this bizarre experience that I realized some uncomfortable things I’d experienced in high school had been forms of sexual abuse. Books like Asking for It and Sex Object: A Memoir were integral to the process of accepting that it wasn’t my fault and learning to take red flags for what they were.

13. Reckoning: The Epic Battle Against Sexual Abuse and Harassment

(TW: Sexual harassment…again) I happened to receive this in a “book blind box” from my favorite indie bookstore shortly after choosing to participate in a sexual harassment lawsuit against my former employer. In a bittersweet way, Reckoning again helped me understand why behavior like my former manager’s was “allowed” to occur, and the hoops women have to jump through in an effort to see justice.

14. The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

Finally I began to incorporate literature about intersectional feminism and racial inequity into my personal library. Though I read The New Jim Crow around the same time that I cracked open Freedom Is a Constant Struggle, Against White Feminism, and White Negroes: When Cornrows Were in Vogue, and Other Thoughts on Cultural Appropriation, this book was transformative when it came to abandoning my budding career in law enforcement. I continue to recommend it to anyone who’s just beginning to learn about the realities of the American criminal punishment system.

15. Desert Oracle: Volume 1

I’ve always loved the Sonoran Desert, but I was just beginning to fall for the Mojave when I got Desert Oracle for Christmas. I read it sitting by my dad’s fireplace, laughing about the Yucca Man and worrying over the still-unsolved disappearance of a hiker boy. Desert communities are filled with so much mystery, and I’m grateful to Ken Layne for documenting it. (I’m also eagerly waiting on a Volume 2…)

16. Fear of Missing Out: Practical Decision-Making in a World of Overwhelming Choice

When I started dating my current partner 7 years ago (!!!), I slowly and painfully learned that my longstanding “commitment issues” were actually a sign of relationship OCD, a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder I’d never heard of before then. Though it almost definitely wasn’t written for this purpose, Fear of Missing Out was game-changing when it came to accepting uncertainty, which is one of the primary tenets of OCD treatment.

17. The Midnight Library

This novel was also strangely profound when it came to accepting uncertainty and trusting in my ability to create a happy future for myself.

18. Inciting Joy

In addition to being a delight to read, Inciting Joy taught me to recognize moments of beauty, camaraderie, and gratitude in everyday life. In my opinion, this book is essential for anyone interested in mindfulness and generally developing a more positive mindset, even as the world falls apart around us.

19. The Mutual UFO Network

I’m bummed that not a lot of people know about this book, and not just because the idea for my own novella probably wouldn’t have popped into my head if I hadn’t read it. I love that its characters tend to move at night, sometimes in nefarious ways, others in ways secretly heartwarming. Definitely a good read if you’re craving something bizarre, but still grounded.

20. Topics of Conversation

This was my introduction to literary fiction. At the time, I didn’t know that was the name for books that largely focus on interiority and language, but I was hooked. It was also refreshing to see a protagonist who, despite having already become a mother, didn’t want to be one. Bonus points for having read it in the pool at my old apartment.

21. Once There Were Wolves

Shortly after I read Topics of Conversation, Charlotte McConaghy’s gorgeous work showed me how mystery, environmental conflict, and darker themes can blend beautifully into lit-fic. I aspire to be like her someday.

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22. Whiskey When We’re Dry

Modern westerns are so complicated. A good author will acknowledge the racial and gender injustices of the time while still spinning a story strongly rooted in place and inclusive of the more intriguing “Wild West” customs that make the story, y’know, western. Whiskey When We’re Dry does an excellent job with that, and it led to me discovering other wonderful modern westerns, like Upright Women Wanted and Outlawed.

23. Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times

I read Wintering during a literal winter, which was not really Katherine May’s point, but the its principles have stuck with me regardless. I pull this book out of my mental pocket whenever I’m going through a rough time and need to slow down.

24. The Employees

Definitely one of my favorite novellas of all time. This book is just so weird in the best way possible. I read it next to my partner at a fancy new cocktail spot downtown as he read his own book, and we felt cooler than all the other couples on their normie dates where they talked to each other and held hands and such.

25. To Be Taught, If Fortunate

My other favorite novella of all time. I love how raw and human this story felt, despite taking place in a far-flung interplanetary future. I def cried at the end.

26. The Comfort of Crows: A Backyard Year

This is such a charming piece of narrative nonfiction, and it was integral to my transformation from an “indoorsy” girl to a gently outdoorsy one. I love the serenity and empowerment that come with simply noticing the natural elements around me, and I wouldn’t have started to do that if not for author Margaret Renkl.

27. Sourdough

I think I’ve mentioned this novel a thousand times on Creativity Under Capitalism, but who cares when the story is so hilariously clever and delicious?

28. The Anthropocene Reviewed: Essays on a Human-Centered Planet

GAHHHH. If I could only recommend one book for the end of time, it might be this one. Not only is the premise super cool—it’s a book full of “reviews” about random aspects of life, from Dr. Pepper to those geese you see at nearly every park—but it’s such a heartrendingly careful consideration of 2020s humanity that it’s just about guaranteed to make you feel seen. (I felt that way, at least.) Even if you’re not a huge fan of John Green’s YA novels, you should give this book a try. The audiobook is great, too, and it’s narrated by Green himself!

29. Small Boat

I really, really like stories that examine how humans respond to crisis, especially if they’re somehow responsible for the outcome. Small Boat is a close look at exactly that, magnifying the intrapersonal consequences that come with making the objectively wrong choice. This novel has inspired a few story ideas in me.

30. Rejection

I crack up whenever I remember reading this last Christmas and enthusiastically recommending it to my mom after only having read one story…just to realize a few stories in that it’s totally disgusting in a very sexual, very online way. (I was like, “Uhh, you maybe shouldn’t read this after all.” Hopefully she listened.) On a more serious note, these stories were not only entertaining, but effective as an exactingly observant snapshot of today’s social justice missteps, incel epidemic, and chronically online behavior.

Whew, we made it! Thanks for reflecting with me. Have you read any of these books? What are the stories that stand out to you when you look back on your life?