Six journal prompts to try when life totally sucks

As it often does.

Be sure to read to the end of this post for a special announcement!

Something I’m incredibly grateful for is my journaling habit. Whether I’m doing fairly well or going through a rough time, I usually journal at least once every few days. My journal isn’t just a place for me to record the goings-on of my life (which, if I’m being honest, can start to feel pretty tedious if I take it too seriously); it’s a place for me to “talk” through complicated feelings, untangle ideas for my writing, and work out problems as they arise.

Though journaling can’t and won’t fix everything, it’s a coping mechanism I frequently find myself recommending to other people when they’re feeling stuck. But more often than not, the person I’m talking to asks:

What do I write about? What do I say?

This is where prompts can be helpful. That said, a lot of mainstream wellness-focused journal prompts have good intentions but lots of loopholes. For instance, Make a list of what you’re grateful for! sounds lovely but can quickly veer into toxic positivity, and What would you tell a friend if they were in this situation? is silly, because of course I’d be kinder to them than I am to myself. But I digress.

Today, I’m dishing out six prompts that I fall back on during my real-life journaling sessions. Some of them help me work out solutions; others just release the emotional pressure valve a bit. They’re not cute and will never be found in flamingo pink cursive inside a $6.99 workbook from T.J. Maxx, and that’s okay. We’re not performing here. We’re hanging on.

What do I wish people understood about what I’m going through?

Everyone yearns to be seen in one way or another. Even for those of us with strong support networks, friends, family, and even trained mental health professionals are bound to misunderstand an issue or offer unhelpful advice eventually. We might even find ourselves at points in our lives in which we lack compassionate, emotionally intelligent people to go to in the first place.

Here’s your chance to get it all out. What do people tend to assume about what you’re currently going through? What do you wish your teachers, coworkers, doctors, caregivers, or other “supporting characters” understood? What parts of your current experience have you been holding back?

Do the unpleasant thoughts and feelings I’m experiencing actually connect to my values?

(In other words: Are these worries mine, or were they taught to me?)

Recently, my therapist handed me a list of ~100 values and asked me to circle the ones I resonated with most. Since then, I’ve tried to respond to every unpleasant feeling with this question: Does what I’m upset about actually have to do with a violation of my values, or was this worry taught to me?

For example, when I’m annoyed with a friend for being late to every hangout, it’s because I value reliability. But when I find myself judging my partner for stopping to smell the roses a little “too often,” it’s because I was taught to value efficiency at the expense of enjoyment—something I don’t necessarily always agree with, in practice.

This exercise applies to deeper, more destructive thoughts and feelings, too. I’ve been using it a lot as I work through the complex entanglement of grief, guilt, anger, and relief associated with familial estrangement. When I find that an unpleasant emotion actually reflects a value that was taught to me, that unpleasantness is usually the product of a fear: that someone will judge me harshly, that I won’t amount to anything, and so on. It’s a lot easier to deal with a crappy feeling when you can expose its true foundation.

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When was the last time I felt this terrible? How did I move back to a more stable place?

It might be easier to visit past versions of yourself if you’ve been journaling for a long time, but even if you haven’t, you can still do this exercise. Try looking through your camera roll to see what you were up to the last time you were having a rough go. Do the pictures on your phone tell you anything about your habits or other patterns? When you started to feel more like yourself again, what changed? (For example, do you see yourself spending more time with friends? Eating more diverse or nutritious meals? Engaging in some sort of activism? Moving your body more?)

Speaking of habits…

What old maladaptive habits have I been leaning on lately, and how can I replace them with healthier ones?

When I’m having a really difficult time, I’ll stop responding to people. The pressure of having to answer texts (and thus pretend to be better off than I currently am) is overwhelming to me in these moments, and I often feel that the types of support others have to offer me aren’t quite what I need.

Lately, when I catch myself doing this, I’ve been trying to do a better job of communicating with my frequent contacts that I’m struggling and need some space. Thankfully they always understand, and that positive reinforcement means I’m more likely to communicate proactively in the future.

How might my past self be proud of my current self, and how can I continue to do right by them in the future?

You know those social media posts that go around every New Year’s Eve that say something along the lines of, “If all you did this year was survive, that’s okay”? Well, the same goes for making your past self proud. You survived—bravo! (Encore, even!)

But there’s probably something else your past self would be proud of, too. Perhaps you overcame an eating disorder, earned money through your art for the first time, found a form of physical exercise you actually enjoy, or set a boundary with a parent. Maybe you’re stressed about student debt, but you’re the first person in your family to go to college. Maybe you’re struggling with the stress of raising small children, but your younger self would be misty-eyed at the thought of you growing up to give your kiddos the kindness and patience you should have received at their age. No matter how you’re feeling, there’s likely a chance to honor your strength, resourcefulness, creativity, or self-respect buried in there somewhere.

What can I look forward to tomorrow?

I whip this one out every time I’m feeling catastrophically low and just need to make it to the next day. Go-to items are “making my coffee with a new syrup flavor,” “watching [insert movie here] with my partner,” “baking chocolate chip cookies,” or “going on a walk with [friend].” Watching the sunset, playing with your kids, making a new recipe for dinner, reading a juicy book, seeing your therapist, hitting a sobriety milestone, celebrating a pal’s birthday, or even taking a long, hot shower are also good ideas. (Pro tip: Daiso sells miniature sticky calendar pages that you can slap into your journal, if you want to jot down little things to look forward to each day!)

May’s “look-forward-to” calendar was hard on the wallet but soft on the heart.

If things are challenging for you right now, I hope your journal is a soft place for you to land and that these little encouragements lend you a bit of understanding or peace.

And if you found these prompts thought-provoking or helpful…this announcement is for you!

Do you want to journal more regularly, but don’t know what to say? Are you still working to incorporate analog activities into your screen-ridden life? Sign up for Postcard Prompts, the paper journal prompts snail-mailed to your address every month!

Each Postcard Prompt is lovingly designed by yours truly (collect ‘em all!) and features a thoughtful, unconventional prompt for your next journaling session. Some prompts will gently incorporate the season they’re delivered in, but most will be broadly applicable to any time of year. Eventually, I hope to collaborate with artists here on Substack to create limited-edition Postcard Prompt visuals and prompts inspired by their work’s central themes.

The first Postcard Prompt will go out in early July. Signing up costs just $7.50 per month. (You’ll get two months free if you pay for an annual subscription!) In addition to receiving regular snail mail prompts, you’ll be a much-beloved supporter of this newsletter, which will remain 100% free to read.

From now until July 1, you can sign up for Postcard Prompts for 10% off, bringing the monthly dues down to $6.75 per month!

I’m so excited for this little project—who doesn’t love receiving actual paper mail?!—and I hope you are too!

If you have any questions about Postcard Prompts, feel free to drop it in the comments or DM me.